


The melancholy of Amami ('s ahoges)

by canaria_silk



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Headcanon, Other, crack fic alert, i am drunk forgive me, rip ahoges, save amami 2k17, this is a joke, unedited oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 18:15:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12281856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canaria_silk/pseuds/canaria_silk
Summary: Amami Rantaro is often called names due to his striking appearance, not to mention his strangely attractive double ahoges. What he didn't know was the secret behind his ahoges... the truth that changes everything.But what will happen if you remove one of his ahoges?





	The melancholy of Amami ('s ahoges)

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS UNEDITED AND WAS CREATED IN A RUSH
> 
> This is a crack fic, a headcanon my friend and I created in a whim. It's a joke! I'll apologise if i offended anybody with this! But please have fun with this fanfic, it's all for the comedy.

Amami always laughed out loud or joked whenever someone in the academy comments about his strangely attractive double ahoges. Those green, messy, stuck up locks of hair who wavers on the tip of his head always had people thinking many things, they should or shouldn’t have.

“Amami-kun is handsome and all but...with those twin ahoges he looks like the Grinch!”

“An avocado?”

“Cabbage man!”

“Those ahoges look like they’re about to fight each other to the death until his head split open.”

Well...not very pleasant thoughts. Normally students enjoy judging his personality with his good looks, after all, that’s what most of society does these days. With his sleek looks, drowsy eyes, piercings and messy hair; girls in particular think he’s a dirty playboy who flocks around flirting with ladies, but no, Amami is pretty much far from that imagination.

Amami Rantaro has many little siblings which are, in fact, all girls. Thus he picked up fairly girly hobbies to aid them such as; painting nails, doing their hair, cooking, and whatever. Most of the time he thinks of himself as some sort of housewife, and he likes it. Amami grinned to himself as his ahoges twitched from side to side.

Hope’s peak doesn’t seem so bad, or so he thought until the latter was thrown into a killing game. 16 students including himself, along with a weird talking mechanical bear with his ‘childrens’. The greenhead shrugged and thought that this situation was both funny and life-threatening. But then again, he felt something odd, something unsettling lingering in his heart. Amami couldn’t remember his talent one bit, yet everyone seems to know theirs just fine. 

He took a seat by the couch and sighed lethargically, he’s exhausted, it’s been a long tiring day for his brain especially. Not until- 

“Amami-kun!” He turned to the direction of the sound and pulled a smile the moment he saw the Ultimate Pianist, Akamatsu Kaede. She huffed by running and took a seat next to him, he smiled again. “There’s something on my mind lately, and I can’t seem to let it go.” she stuck a finger up to the air with a serious expression (but at the same time, looks like a pout?), her gaze towards the man felt almost deafening.

“Yes? What is it?” Amami smiled casually, Akamatsu noticed the fatigue in his face as he did so. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, besides his sisters he never really had a proper conversation with a girl, a really pretty girl.

Akamatsu moved over closer to him, grabbing his shoulders and suddenly is about an inch close to his face. Amami couldn’t help but lose composure by her sudden movements and wobbled backwards away from her grip. 

He closed his eyes as she grinned, “Ah, I really can’t take it! I’m so jealous!” she pulled back away from him, her arms crossed under her breast, Amami was dumbfounded and confused by her words.

“Err, by what?” He asked, forcing his voice to sound as natural as possible while fanning himself to cool his body heat.

“Your eyelashes!” she pouted, “They are so pretty and long for a guy!” her eyes lit up and her face was screaming in awe, “Even my eyelashes don’t compare…” with a plop back to the couch, she sighed. “Do you use a some particular beauty product..?” 

“Ahaha..” Again, he scratched the back of his hair, ruffling it until it got all messy. “It’s natural, but thanks.” this was not what he originally had expected.

“Geez~” Akamatsu began to pout once again in her dismay but then lit up once something else came into her mind. “Hey, do you have a preference?”

“What preference?” 

“Like; do you like girls or boys better? Or both?!” She bounced back to her knees, pumping her arms up and down with glowy eyes. “I mean, you are charming!” she added which made Amami blush clumsily.

“Err, both.” Amami really had no idea. Whatever was fine, in all honesty, whoever makes his heart beats fast and accepted who he really is who good enough. With that thoughts in mind, he felt his twin ahoges jerk.

By the corner of his eyes, though, he felt another gaze staring at him, not so far but close. As he turned back to confront whoever eyes were on him, a certain purple boy leaped out from his chair onto the platform next to the pianist and greenhead which shocked them nevertheless.

Before Akamatsu could retort over the boy for shocking her all of the sudden, he mouth blurted with a ton of words that almost didn’t make any good sense. “Say say, you’re talking about preferences towards women or men or both?” Ouma commented, his hands on the back of his head, “You ask strange questions, Akamatsu-chan!”

“Well, maybe i do-”

Ouma then bent over to the couch and placed his hands on Amami’s soft hair. “Hey?!” Amami twitched, unable to move or do anything. Right now he might as well let the boy do as his please.

“By the way, Amami-chan’s eyelashes are one thing but why isn’t anyone mentioning about his weird double ahoges.” Ouma continued to mess up Amami’s hair with a sly smirk on his face. Amami looked up and sighed,

“Hey, Ouma-kun!” Saihara yelled to Amami’s defence, Ouma’s smirk turned into a bright smile, 

“Saihara-chan!”

“First of all, what’s that matter of Amami-kun’s twin ahoges?” Saihara cut through his sentence, Ouma grinned again and pointed towards the direction of the detective’s face, slowly his finger went from his face to hair.

“Saihara-chan has an ahoge!” His finger dashed towards Akamatsu, “Akamatsu-chan has an ahoge!” and then his fingers fell above Amami’s head, “And Amami-chan has TWO ahoges.” He pouted cutely yet selfishly, “That’s super unfair!”

Saihara faced-palmed, groaning at Ouma’s childish remarks. But the latter continued to whine anyways, “Look at me, I have none!” Well, that’s true, Ouma had no ahoges whatsoever. The spikiness of his hair doesn’t count either. Stop wasting hairspray, Ouma-kun!

Amami fidgeted on his seat while Ouma still had his fingers tightly locked in his strands of hair, “You’re kinda pulling on my hair..” He forced a smile as the leader continued to frown. Abruptly, his hand tightly wrapped all around Amami’s ahoges which strangely made an unexpected reaction. “Aaa!” Amami unthinkably moaned, not knowing if it’s from pain or… pleasure. Somehow, the moan had got Akamatsu and Saihara gawking at him with widened eyes and reddened cheeks. 

“That sounded really sexy-” Akamatsu blurted as Saihara tried winning back his composure. Amami couldn’t mutter a single word but to look as shock as they are, to himself.

The detective choked and blinked his eyelids, “Uhmm, let’s just end this. You hearing me? Ouma-kun-”

The Ultimate Supreme Leader, Ouma Kokichi’s expression was unlike his three classmates. Despite hearing Amami’s arousing moan, his face was not flushed in embarrassment nor gleaming eyes. The only similarity is, Ouma was shock. Shocked to the point his eyeballs had rolled up and his face turning blue. Saihara took notice of this and took a stand,

“Wh-what’s wrong?” Saihara asked, making his way towards Ouma in worry considering his weirdly disturbing reaction. Akamatsu was confused and Amami turned back with innocent eyes which made Ouma tumble away from the couch.

Before Saihara could ask if he was truly okay, in a swift action Ouma shrieked and climbed onto Saihara, squeezing him tightly. 

“IT MOVED!!” Ouma screeched, almost ear-splittingly, “A-AMAMI-CHAN’S AHOGES MOVED!!!” Saihara was sure everybody in the academy would have heard that awfully loud statement. 

Akamatsu stood up and laughed, “Oh my goodness, don’t be so ridicu-” before she could have continued, she peeked a glance to Amami’s head and like Ouma, her face turned blue. “MY GOD, THEY MOVED! THEY ARE MOVING, AMAMI-KUN!” like Ouma, again, her immediate reaction was to jump and squeeze Saihara. 

Amami could hear everybody making their way towards the scene, but he was too baffled to have a proper reaction to his two classmate’s backfire. Trying not to even think about their statement’s, he gazed over to Saihara. “A-Are they really..?” He mumbled with quivering lips.

Saihara turned away, looking down with the top of his face looking like a blueberry. He nodded.

“Oh my!” Angie gasped as she squished her cheeks together with her hands, “It’s swaying side to side as if it’s communicating with each other!” and for some reason, she grinned picking up her wooden hammer, “It needs exorcising!” Her glare was deafening to even watch.

“BUT wait a second...what?” Amami jumped from the couch with a ‘pause’ gesture to ensure everyone it was okay. “That’s ridiculous… They are just strands of my hair, no way they can just move on their own…” He really should have touched wood. Amami felt his head twitch for a second as his sweat rained down him like a waterfall.

“What a strange phenomenon, perhaps this will awake to some new power like anime.” Shirogane smiled with her right cheek resting on her palm. She made her way towards a confused Amami and positioned the mirror on her hand towards him so he could see whatever in the world his hair, or ahoges to be precise, was doing. 

He gasped, it was really moving. Swaying side to side, it did look like his ahoges were talking to each other about something. This really was a strange phenomenon, he could tell why everybody was freaked out. Now he could feel sorry for Ouma who witnessed such a sight. 

Shirogane continued to talk about her own thoughts about his ahoges moving, “Maybe they represent something…” she mumbled under her breath, audible enough for Amami to hear. Out of desperation, he grabbed her shoulders and stared directly to her soul.

“Do me a favour and comb down these atrocities with your cosplay tools.” Shirogane turned away with an awkward smile,

“I-I’ll try…” 

Shirogane flicked open her pouch of emergency tools for cosplay in case anything went wrong with her outfit or wigs. It was an assortment of different items like brushes, makeup, bobby pins, sewing things and more. She picked up a pretty blue comb as Amami sat down, she walked behind the couch and positioned his head. “Uh, this is really awkward even for my standards.” she stammered, “‘Let’s see what we can do here…” 

The teeth of the comb brushed through his green hair, frankly it felt relaxing but his mind couldn’t seem to calm by the looks of things. With one attempt to comb it down, the ahoges just bounced back up. Again, she tried to comb it down but with more force this time, it bounced back up as if it got resurrected from the dead. Shirogane felt her vain pop,

“Wh-What is wrong with these things?!” Third try to the fourth, the ahoges just wouldn’t budge. “And yet i’m using all my strength…” she sighed and stepped back.

“Let me go at it.” Harukawa stepped to Shirogane’s position as she took the comb away from her hand. She rolled her red sleeves up and positioned the comb directly at Amami’s head.

“Oh, I see~ Harumaki simply has more strength!” Momota laughed, proudly.

 

Harukawa’s hands combed down his hair in a swift action, certain that all her strength had been poured into that single push and pull. Amami let out a yelp. 

“I think I did it too hard.” Harukawa’s head turned blue, it seems as if her strength had caused Amami’s scalp to bleed. “S-Sorry..” she backed away, returning the comb to Shirogane.

“H-Hey, you still alive?” Momota glanced down to Amami whose eyes had already rolled up in shock. “I THINK YOU KILLED HIM.” Harukawa felt her skin jump,

“Ah, it’s always the head..” Shirogane sighed to herself, her murmurs were inaudible for the rest to hear. She turned back to the sight of Akamatsu and Ouma climbing on Saihara, she did kinda feel bad for him. “Ouma-kun, are you still mentally awake?” she asked. 

Ouma’s eyes flashed open and hopped back down from Saihara’s body, “Yep! I think Saihara-chan gave me back the energy i was lacking!” He grinned, arms by his hips.

“Nah I think you sucked the living daylights out of Shuichi..” Momota grumbled, patting Harukawa’s back to comfort her.  
“Oh great. Let me borrow that hairspray you always use for your hair.” Shirogane asked, putting away the comb into her pouch.

“Ehh? But this is natural.” Ouma frowned once and again, not for long until Iruma jumped from her sleep.

“Son of a bitch is lying! I found this by his doorstep!” 

“HOW??”

Shirogane laughed awkwardly as Iruma passed her Ouma’s deluxe hairspray for spiky hair and shook it before spraying it all over Amami’s hair. “Amami-kun, if you’re still alive, cover your eyes and mouth.” Amami, barely alive, did so.

With all her might, she hairsprayed the his ahoges, pushing them down so that they would stay down. “COVER IT LAYER TO LAYER!!” Ouma cheered from behind, she did as he said and was almost certain that it would really stay still only to jolt back up abruptly. Layer after layer, it just kept coming back up. For some reason, it looked as if the ahoges were arguing or something. It made Shirogane shiver uncontrollably by the sight. 

“I think this is useless..” She dropped the hairspray onto the table and let out a tired groan, her hair flowing down her face like a waterfall. Ouma’s eyes were still glued on Amami’s twin ahoges moving around as if nothing was wrong. Ouma felt his blood boil all of the sudden and raise his arm towards one of his ahoges.

“HAVE TWO AHOGES IS UNFAIR ANYWAYS!!!!” With a jump, Ouma’s palms gripped onto one of Amami’s ahoge which made the man himself jolt with another squeak and shock.

“O-Ouma-kun, WAIT!!” Saihara yelled, but it was too late of course…

With a swift movement, Ouma’s hands pulled away from Amami’s head, yanking off his right ahoge. 

“Aaa!” Amami covered his mouth, he fell forwards and with shaky movements, his hands reached out to feel his head. Something was missing. He turned back to Ouma grabbing his right ahoge in his palm. “MY, MY AHO-”

“THAT WAS SO FUCKIN’ BRUTAL!!” Iruma cheered, laughing her ass off. Akamatsu slowly released her grasp onto Saihara, Saihara was speechless, Momota and Harukawa took a step back, Shirogane and even Angie moved away awkwardly.

Ouma’s eyes fell to the ahoge he yanked off Amami and once again, he felt as if his soul escaped from his body. Unable to react or even speak, his grasp loosened and the ahoge fell flat on the floor as everybody but Amami watched without words.

“That’s a thiccy-”

“Iruma, stop!”

Saihara gulped, hastily making his way towards Amami while his head was dropped low. Saihara somehow felt guilt for the young man, but at the same time he had to confront him if not anything. This sounds awfully silly but really, a part of his hair had just been yanked off from his head, moreover his scalp still had traces of blood from Harukawa’s combing power. He just had to feel sorry. Saihara dropped on his knees as his hands shook Amami’s back, trying desperately to look under his head to see his face. 

“Amami-kun..?” Saihara begun to sweep his long green bangs away from his eyes until... ! “Ah?!”

Amami’s head bounced from it’s droopy position, he stood up without hesitation and his gaze fell on Saihara. “Huh... ?” Saihara was confused as heck. Was Amami really okay? Was he? Saihara didn’t quite believe so… Amami’s gaze was provokingly sexy. Looking closer, his pupils were shaped as an Heart.

Oh boy,

“HEART EYES MOTHERFUCKER!!” 

“IRUMA, PLEASE.”

Amami lifted Saihara’s chin towards his face and licked his lips. Saihara couldn’t help but blush over this unexpected turn of events. Amami drooled as his eyes lit up, “Shuichi, you are really something.” Amami, fingers still arounds Saihara’s chin pushed him closer to his face. First name basis already?!

“Despite your cold looks, your distant eyes, and your shy personality; you are actually really handsome.” Amami continued, his fingers then unwrapped his chin and it then held Saihara’s hand gently. Amami begun to caress the detective's hand, his face flushing redder and redder. “You are quite the sight~”

Amami’s head dropped low as he places a kiss on the top of Saihara’s hand, he licked his lips. “I kinda want more from this..” Amami trailed off as he held Saihara’s finger closely to his lips and then… suck on it? 

Saihara could feel the warmth from Amami’s tongue all over his finger, his saliva mixing and heating up the more he sucked on it. Saihara couldn’t even make out what he was feeling right now. All he knew was that he is utterly embarrassed. Amami slowly pulled his fingers out of his mouth, the saliva drooling down his lips as his face flushed in red.

“Ah, that was pleasurable, Shuichi.”

“GET AWAY FROM MY SAIHARA-CHAN!!!” 

Out of burning anger, Ouma seemed to have awakened his senses back and went into defence mode. He yelled and kicked away the fallen ahoge from the floor and jumped in front of Saihara, pushing Amami back away from him. Amami sighed, Ouma growled, Saihara stared at his wet finger.

“W-Would you like a tissue?” Akamatsu asked, Saihara couldn’t reply. “What’s gone into Amami-kun..” she shivered.

“SAIHARA-CHAN IS MINE ALONE!!” Ouma growed like a beast, even pointing rudely at Amami. “LICKING HIS FINGER IS MY JOB, ALONE!!” As Ouma continued to argue, Amami stared at him with the same heart eyes he did as to Saihara.

“Kokichi. When you get rough it really turns me on.” Amami wiped the excess saliva from his lips and smirked, “I want to see it some more.” Quickly, he stepped forwards. Hastily, Ouma stood back in fear he’s never experienced before.

“Amami-chan got all weird all of the sudden!” He shrieked, turning blue. Ouma stepped back some more, Amami only got closer. “Wh-What..- woah!” Tripping on the ahoge pushed back all over the floor, Ouma felt himself fall back (thinking, hey this is kinda payback from the ahoge). He shut his eyes closed as his back was catched, he opened his eyes to see Amami unnecessarily close to him. Not to mention he was the one who backed him up, his arm was around his back after all.

“You nearly missed your step, Kokichi.” Amami’s grinning like a snake, and before you know it, Amami dragged Ouma from his near-fall position into a tight hug. Ouma could feel his warm breath on his neck but his reaction still remained still, he didn’t feel like the need to blush or anything or a rather- “Your scarf is in the way.” teeth sunk into his skin. Ouma yelped and pulled away from Amami quickly, feeling his neck. 

“D-Did you just try to suck my skin or something..?” He mumbled, 

“What else? You were awfully arousing.” 

Akamatsu’s jaw fell down, what the heck is happening?! First Saihara and now Ouma? What happened to the kind and loving Amami-kun I know?! She grabbed Amami by the shoulder and pulled him away from Ouma, “Hey, that’s enough!” she took a stand.

Amami turned back, his eyes full of darkness and distort. Akamatsu felt her skin crawl, his eyes were eerie...as if he was about to murder or something. She quickly let go of his shoulder,

“I’m not into girls.” he admitted, face straight. Akamatsu felt her vain pop, but let it go as she stepped back.

“I knew it!” Shirogane pumped her fist into her palm. She bended down and picked up the kicked ahoge from the ground and stared at it for a good minute.

“Don’t touch that thing, Shirogane.” Harukawa mentioned, backing away from Amami,

“That’s an evil spirit!” Angie added, still holding the hammer.

“That rag piece of cloth had that thing stuck on his head, meaning it’s filthy!” Iruma yelled, kicking the ahoge away from Shirogane’s grasp. “Can’t make you get your hands tained on that fucker!” 

Shirogane smiled at Iruma and stood up, “I have figured it out!” she exclaimed proudly,

“What is it?” Momota asked, hiding behind Harukawa for the ultimate defence. He could feel Amami watching him.

“Sooner or later, he’s gonna start arousing every single boy of this academy!” 

By those words everyone coughed and took a step back away from Amami, so did Saihara and Ouma. Amami was still in a hunch, glaring back at Akamatsu with such furiosity which made her shiver in fear. Harukawa held Momota’s hand and pushed him away from Amami, if what Shirogane stated was the truth, Harukawa won’t let him touch her man. 

“If he does end up arousing every single guy of this academy then he might as well fuck with Monokuma!” Iruma yelled and proceeded to laugh at herself, catching everyone off-guard and sighing at her strange remarks.

Well, if Amami stayed at one spot away from the other men of the academy then nothing could possibly go wrong, right? Wrong. Amami got up from his hunched position and sprinted to the door, exiting the classroom in full speed. It smelled like trouble. Bad trouble. On Harukawa’s lead, everyone safely exited the lounge to search for the missing Amami.

Though, not everything ends well.

“AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!”

“Over there!” As she pointed towards the source of the noise, everyone sprinted as fast as they could to the garden to prevent any casualties from happening, but again, it was far too late for any of them to make a move. Saihara caught his breath and gasped at what seems to be Amami carrying a flustered Kiibo like a princess. Behind stood Yumeno and Tenko whose faces seem to have no idea was what going on, besides them was Korekiyo was ought to be thinking of other ‘things’.

“Wha-wha, Amami-kun? What are you?” Before Kiibo could struggle any longer, a slender finger was placed on his steel-cold lips and a breath of warm air washed all around his face making him warm. Amami went in closer without a word, eyes filled with lust the robot had never seen in before in his life. His heart was beating faster than ever until, slowly, it was slowed down by Amami’s gentle touch against his chest. Gently, he placed his head on his chest and smiled, green hair tickling over Kiibo’s cheeks. Kiibo’s flushed maddened.

“Your heart is prove that you are alive despite a robot.” Amami cooed, hugging the robot in a tight, sweet embrace, “That is what makes you so special, unlike everybody else.” removing his body away from the man, Amami held Kiibo’s shoulders tightly- presumably going in for a kiss. 

“No, no no! This is so wrong!” Kiibo gulped, reaction torned between sweat and embarrassment as he pushed him away from his arms. He could feel electricity buzzing all over his mechanical parts, Kiibo then realised what he’s done. 

“I-I didn’t mean to push you away!” Kiibo apologised, he really didn’t mean to act so rash, the poor thing was only just as confused as the others were. 

“Aw, please, you’re just too much of a good person to say anything rash!” Iruma scoffed, Kiibo was still down. “What the heck, look up goddamnit!” she yelled, meaning every bit of good intention despite her arrogance.

Amami broke the tensed atmosphere once and again with his brand-new cunning personality, grinning as a little “Aw, that’s fine.” escaped his lips, because obviously, he had many other boys to mess with. Why that just makes him seem like a disgusting playboy!

“We can explain!” Akamatsu sweated, “Amami-kun’s personality has been distorted due...due..” The words just couldn’t come out her swollen lips. It was just too much of a ridiculous topic! 

Saihara reached out for her back in support, “To keep it short; Amami-kun’s ahoges… yes, I said ahoge, have their own… personalities.” 

“Nyehh? I must have casted a spell on them accidentally..” Yumeno scratched her head, lowering down her witch-hat with a shady look on her face. Even the detective himself didn’t know if she was being serious or tried lightening up the mood.

“As I was saying,” The detective caught his stance, “Ouma-kun ripped one of his ahoges and his personality shifted drastically. What I mean is, Amami-kun is attracted to men and men only!” Saihara tried his best not to sound over-dramatic or as if he was telling a strange tale. Amami only sighed at his claims, not aware of his shift in personality.

“Then enough is enough!” A familiar voice cried from the crowd, Tenko stuck up her head and rolled her sleeves preparing some sort of fighting stance. “Boys are still rotten down to their core in the end, aren’t they?!” Her arms shot up and her leg stood out, her eyes flared with fire. 

“Tenko, wait-!” Yumeno plead, extending her arms to try stop her best friend. Tenko had no hesitation. Examining her actions closely, the detective could imagine her flipping the greenhead and throwing him to the wall- but instead, Tenko reached out, grabbing his left ahoge and pulling it out all in the same way Ouma did to him!

An ‘aaa’ escaped the amnesiac's lips again as he fell almost lifelessly to the ground. Tenko stared at the sad ahoge in her grip and dropped it down on the floor while huffing proudly.

Korekiyo’s eyes widened, “Something’s coming.” he eyed Amami as he took a step back. Saihara wondered if Amami would return back to normal now.

“O-Ow… that hurts, Chabashira-san…” He deliberately got up, dusting off the dust from his pants, still facing the other direction away from all of us. Yumeno sighed,

“Nyeh.. I’ll use my magic to bring him back to his senses…” She lazily waved her finger across the air, chanting some language under her breath. “Amami-kun..?”

The amnesiac faced Yumeno with a tired but calm smirk, the magician could already sense the bad aura emitting from him and her senses asked her to take a step back to Tenko. She hid behind her sleeve, Tenko took her stance in case anything got out of hand again.

“Great!” Akamatsu pumped her arms in the air, “Amami-kun, you okay? Man, that was one strange occurrence!-”

Ouma winced, “Akamatsu-chan, not yet!” 

Amami gracefully fell to one knee and held Akamatsu’s hand gently, similar to Saihara’s case. The pianist felt her cheeks heat up, she noticed Amami examining her beautiful nails that he painted especially for her, and kissed it.

For some reason, Saihara jumped.

 

“Don’t fall into his trap!” Shirogane cheered, causing Akamatsu’s reaction to disappear into a more serious face. Her hands slipped away from his, Amami had been somewhat quiet despite his actions. 

“D-Don’t t-touch me..” Akamatsu found the words terribly hard to come out, she would never say such a thing if it was the actual Amami.

“Why, Kaede? Don’t you like me?”

“Pardon?”

A sudden thud to the ground alerted Akamatsu’s senses, Amami was kicked to the ground by… Iruma Miu herself. 

“Ow... “ 

Iruma thumped her foot to the ground, her heels making a loud clasp. She was sweating everywhere, her lips were dry as she licked them, her face was maddened in red, and she kept on thumping her foot. Amami, still on the ground stuck his head up to gaze at the Inventor who held his hair arrogantly in able for him to look at her.

“Lick it.” Her voice was harsh and dry, but obviously it was heading ‘that’ direction. Considering Amami’s warped personality, he would enjoy such a twist of events. In other words; he was going to lick her boot.

“You’re such a whore, slut!” Ouma scoffed at the Inventor immersing herself in self-pleasure. Iruma glanced back at the high-and-mighty dictator and her sweat increased, 

“Wh-what? He obviously likes it!” Her eyes began to water. Over the entire fun, Amami stood back up from the ground as Akamatsu with a pained expression stood back towards where Saihara is.

Shirogane had different things in mind, though, but she knew it wasn’t going to go well. She thought of herself as nothing but ‘plain’ , she even dressed accordingly to her ideals. Shirogane caught herself spacing out again, having her head at space.

Amami took notice of this advantage and went towards the cosplayer, 

“Hmm…”

“Tsumugi.” Amami smiled, “Even though you always say how plain you are, to me you are beautiful and-”

“Oh, that’s it!”

Shirogane quickly unbuttoned her pouch and pulled out the one and only; ‘Ouma’s deluxe hairspray for spiky hair’ . Shaking it in her hand, she pointed it towards Amami’s direction and sprayed it all over his face. Surely she felt regret but this was the only way to have him snap out of his senses.

“Nice one.” Harukawa applauded. Amami kept coughing due to the immense chemicals of the hairspray. Ouma was pouting.

“You’re wasting my hairspray, Shirogane-chan!” 

“Sorry—”

“AGH WHO CARES! THIS IS FOR THE BETTER!” Iruma interrupted, “Now is that ugly piece of ragged cloth back to normal or what?!”

Kiibo panicked, taking a damp piece of cloth and throwing it directly onto Amami’s face, not knowing it will make a difference or anything but whatever works out is fine.

“D-Don’t try breathe in the chemicals, or rub your eyes!!” He exclaimed, standing a meter or so away from the amnesiac despite worrying for him. 

 

After the chemicals integrated into thin air, he removed the cloth away from his face and exhaled the chemicals he accidentally sucked into his mouth. He didn’t look at anybody, but ran outside the garden. Momota yelled,

“He’s prolly gonna go to the library!” 

Therefore everyone followed his lead and busted the library door open, Shirogane ought that maybe she went a bit too far with the hairspray tactic. Was Amami mad? Or has he been put back to his senses? Shirogane took a step closer to the amnesiac who was sitting on the ground, her face was one with sorrow.

“Ama-”

“I love you.”

Amami Rantaro was speaking to an iron ball.

“HE WENT COMPLETELY MENTAL!!!!” Tenko cried, swinging her arms carelessly in the air, accidentally knocking Korekiyo in the head.

“Nyehh… don’t tell me..” Yumeno took a moment to glance at Amami practically kissing the iron ball,

“The hairspray must have caused him to be attracted to inanimate objects!” Angie proclaimed with a grin,

“Objectophilia.” Korekiyo added,

“Th-This is being taken to the next level!” Kiibo grunted, “I can’t bare to look!”

Shirogane held her hands together, “Oh dear…”

“Why not just drop that iron shit on his head?” Iruma yelled with a smile, thinking her idea must be super dope and sick.

“That’ll kill him!” Saihara retorted,

“Someone should film this!” Ouma laughed, “Imagine his reaction!”

“That’s mean…” Akamatsu stressfully muttered,

“Don’t be so upset, Akamatsu.” Harukawa slightly smiled for reassurance,

“It ain’t your fault!” Momota added.

Amami paid no mind to the murmurs around him, the iron ball was the only thing that could ever matter to him right now. He placed a kiss on the ball and cradled it within his arms, stroking it softly in the process. Tenko shivered,

“T-TENKO CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!” She yelled fiercely, “Liking someone is one thing, but this..!”

“Tenko take charge!” Yumeno lazily yelled as she pointed towards the sight of Amami pressing his lips against the ball, “I have prepared my final trick to cure Amami!” She swirled her finger in the air, murmuring words. Tenko took her fighting stance and…

“Nyeh… Tenko, GO!”

“What is she? Some sort of pokemon?!” Momota interrupted before Tenko could take charge.

Almost at the speed of lightning, Tenko leaped from her position, flying into Amami with her leg extended into a flying kick. The moment she felt the tip of her heel touch Amami’s arm, she forced herself down to the ground, grabbing his entire weight of body and steadily throwing him against the wall with all her might. 

“Degenerate males!” 

Amami bashed the wall, and slowly tumbled down and laid on the ground almost lifelessly, figuring he must have passed out from the throw. Tenko went ahead and felt his pulse and gave a thumbs up. 

“Let’s… get his ahoges and sticky-tape them back to his head.” Saihara tiredly raised his hand up to pause everyone. A breath of relief escaped everyone’s lips.

—Fin

**Author's Note:**

> If i have offended you in any way, because Amami is your best boy or anything then know it was unintentional (Amami is my best boy too). But i hope you enjoyed this crack fic!


End file.
